Life happens the most when you can’t plan for it. That’s why there’s aplan B.
My dad’s mother passed away yesterday afternoon. During finals week. Needless to say, there’s one class I’m not passing this semester. It feels like death happens closer to the end of the year when there’s the most amount of pressure to be happy because of one holiday or another. Christmas has been a dreaded holiday in my family for the past 4 years. I’m almost ready to stop celebrating it all together. As it is, my motivation to finish my gift list is pretty much shot. My plan tonight is to see if I can get away with getting drunk at my parents’ house, assuming my mother doesn’t try to guilt trip me with concerns for my liver; my eating habits will destroy them before my drinking does.
Coming into work today was probably a bad idea. Spoke to one co-worker/friend and broke down. I recovered well enough, but I quickly realized that death is tough to deal with despite whether or not you’re close to the person. The additional stress from life is never helpful either. Then there’s the sad looks… I’ve purposely kept this recent development in my life to myself because there are certain people that are all about the hugs and sympathetic looks. It’s already taking everything within me to keep up a decent front, I don’t need that blowing my cover. Where’s a drink when you need one, right?
I need a vacation. That’s really what it comes down to. I need to get away and learn to breath again. I’m not looking forward to this…