Dealing with anger towards the ones you love is difficult to deal with, especially if you’re not one for confrontation like I am. Dealing with anger towards someone you have to work with is a whole other story. You don’t have to like that person, but like with friends and family, you do have to deal with them on almost a daily basis. I wish this was a post where I tell you what I’ve learned and help you to avoid making the same mistakes, but it’s not. Sometimes, you don’t get to figure out what the magic answer is and you just have to deal with the situation as it is.
One thing I can tell you to avoid is retail therapy. I cannot say that I am strong enough to avoid it, but I’m trying.
What is retail therapy, you ask? Where you take the negative emotions you’re experience and channel that energy into spending money on yourself buying frivolous things that you don’t need. You always end up coming home with things you already had, won’t ever use, or never wanted before you got angry but bought them anyways because you just stopped caring after a while. For me, this occasionally includes very fancy lunches that I don’t finish.
And by occasionally, I mean about 3 times a week.
There’s a lot I wish I could expand on, but unfortunately these words could be seen by the wrong eyes and then it comes back on me. I will say this though: I’m not happy and I haven’t been in years. Something has to change soon because I really don’t know how much more of this I’d be able to take.