Nerd Life

A To-Do List to Heal the Soul

The worst part about having an emotional breakdown, is having the regret about it the next day. It’s almost like an emotional hangover, only nobody (usually) gets drunk-texts. I realize that I can’t let my insecurities, and the opinions of others, dictate my life. It’s tough, though, being able to look the other way and pretend it doesn’t hurt. You just have to stop obsessing, stop regressing, stop resisting, and start progressing.

1. Stop Obsessing!
Hurtful words can stick in your mind like the lyrics to a bad pop song on the radio. You start over analyzing what they meant and where the words came from, because as far as you know, everything was all good. Next thing you know, negativity is being thrown at you from left and right, and the weight of the world is starting to crush you. The thing is that people are going to say what they want without regards to how you take it. If someone makes a comment about your design style, you have to accept that not everyone has the same style you do and that they are just giving you their opinion (most of the time whether you ask for it or not). I’ve been in positions where people bashed on my designs and assumed the whole time that it was an order from someone else in the company, only to learn later that they actually were my original designs. It hurts, I won’t lie. I heard once that the brain has an initial reaction for about a minute when you get upset. After that minute, it’s you choosing to obsess over the situation and stay upset. If you don’t have a close friend or family member you can shoot a quick text to get your troubles off your back, try writing it down on a piece of paper or a notepad. Just make sure that if it’s something you don’t want people to see, that you keep it well hidden.

2. Stop Regressing!
When we allow our emotions to get to us, we have a tendency to work backwards rather than forwards with our problems. Let’s say you’re working on a project and someone gives you negative feedback. While they may not have meant to hurt you, they caught you at a bad moment in time and it was the final straw for keeping your emotions intact. Your motivation to finish the project or particular task might have just died right then and there. You can’t let the opinion of one prevent you from accomplishing what you set out to do. The best suggestion is to take a step back and breathe. Take a step back, allow yourself time to cool down.

3. Stop Resisting!
If a suggestion was provided, take a moment to step back and unbiasedly review the work you’re doing. Sometimes, having a second opinion might help you fit in a piece of the puzzle you didn’t even know was missing. You can get through this. As the old saying goes, you are the only one preventing yourself from accomplishing what you want.

4. Start Progressing!
“You just have to push forward,” as my boyfriend once told me. The good news is that you’re at the part I like to call The Emotional Hangover. It’s the next day and you’re at the fork in the road with decisions to be made.

You have to have trust in yourself and you can’t let this stop you from being you. Take the time to figure out how to take the next step, and then actually take it. If there’s anything life has taught me well, it’s that change will happen whether you ready for it or not, and whether or not you do it yourself. Likewise, doing nothing is still doing something. You might as help guide the change in a positive manner for yourself.

As with all of the advice I give on my blog, I or someone I know has lived through the mistakes and came out the other end with a lesson to be learned. Are they fool proof? No one piece of advice ever is.

Have you ever had an emotional hangover? Been mortfied the next day and not known how to handle it? What happened, and what did you do to help yourself or someone tou know? I’m always down to hear your experiences, and so might someone else in that position.