Pick a future. Any future.
One of the things that I hate most about my birthday is the thought that I’m going to have to figure my shit out really soon. I’ll be celebrating my 27th birthday, which can be scary to a lot of people. After this I’ll be 28, then 29, 30 and before you know it my demon spawn will be leaving the nest to go to college so they can gain vast knowledge necessary to take over the world. I’ll a need a way to figure out how to pay for my mortgage and multiple car payments and insurance for everything and everyone.
Perhaps this post should be called “When Freak-Outs Happen” instead.
It’s hard not to be slightly concerned every once in a while about the direction your life is going. As the ever cautionary individual, one might be more prone to take their time and ease into situations so they can best judge if this was the right move for them. The spontaneous individual might be much more likely to jump in head first with everything they’ve got and deal with the repercussions later. But what would the spontaneous individual do if they found themselves turned in to the cautionary individual? Burned too many times to count and a little more hesitant to take the leap, what is the spontaneous individual to do when faced with the decision of fight or flight, of will-they’s or won’t-they’s.
When it comes to most decisions in life, we are not so lucky to have the time to think things over and make the best decision based off our conclusions. Sometimes, we have to just act and hope for the best that our gut reaction didn’t lead us astray. Do I take this job or that? Is this the best major for me, or should I do something different? Should I stay with this person, or take my chance with trying again? If I move in with this person, do I have a back-up plan should it all go wrong? Should I go redhead or blonde? Do I write about fluffy things like fashion and food, or do I take a chance and get real with my readers?
It’s difficult, the decisions we must make. I’ve never been quite good with it. Ever the procrastinator, I’ll wait until I’m down to 5 seconds left on the clock, and even then I have a hard time differentiating between my head, my heart and my gut. I have to remind myself that, at 27, I’m not supposed to have all the answers. Hell, I should be lucky to have at least 20% of them. My biggest fears is that it’ll take me another 10 years to realize the decisions that I’ve made today were the worst I could have possibly made for myself.
Do you ever feel like this? What was a decision you had to make that was difficult to conclude to? How did you handle the outcome?